One of These Kids is Doing Her Own Thing

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Play Date: Win, Lose or Love

Nobody Talking About You

Ladies, have you ever eavesdropped on your man while he was with his boys? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Some years back I went on a trip with one of my best friends Chuck. We were in our hotel room talking big chit about a certain female. Well actually it was mostly me doing all the talking. Chuck mostly watched and laughed as I was very demonstrative about my “true” feelings. Five minutes into this animation slash conversation, we hear a knock on the door. I would like to order two BBM surprised faces for me and my friend. He nor I didn’t say a word, but we both heard each other say, “Who the f#$k is that!?” I will not insult your intelligence by telling you who knocked on the door. But we know whose face I saw when I opened the door. That situation eventually worked itself out, but let’s say that day me and that female learned a lot about each other. Love you if you’re reading.

Every female should want to be a fly on the wall. Not in the sense where they are being nosy though. At first thought, I couldn't believe that there are women that actually want to know what guys talk about. Why do you care ladies? On second thought, I figured the same way I wonder what women talk about, women may be thinking along the same lines. I guess it is important to understand what goes on in a man’s head when he is in his most normal, relaxed state. When a man is around his boys, there’s a good chance that he is truly himself. Depending on the dynamic of the relationship, the subject matter discussed amongst male friends is limitless.

Because a guy’s friends are important, when a woman commits to a man, she is committing to his friends to some degree. Men probably have more male friends than women have female friends. Some friends are involved on a daily basis and others have an influence so strong that they can reside 1000 miles away and still speak without speaking. But no matter what, conversations are happening. If you think we are talking about it, guess what, we are. It can be something important, or something very frivolous and stooopid. Ladies you can downplay it and think that these conversations are trivial, but guess what; a man’s friends are his “brain trust.” Although he is making the executive decision (you hope so), there’s a chance that he is channeling input from others. Ladies beware of your man’s brain trust. Beware of the guy that your man listens to the most? Is this friend the serious, shy, humorous, hood, professional, outgoing, militant, down-to-earth or stuck-up friend?
Be sure you understand the reasoning behind your man’s voice of reason. You almost have to know him as much as you know your man. This is true even if you are not a couple. There’s a good chance that that voice of reason has a guest pillow for those barn burner pillow talks you are having.

What are the guys discussing? This is a preview: Who are the new joints? Who's currently on the roster? Does she have friends? Hook me up with her. Did you smash? Did you at least get the head? Was it good? Pass off. You know all p*#@y aint good p*#@y? You went in her raw, you’re bugging. Yo, I think she’s crazy. What do you plan on doing with her? I heard she’s married? You’re thinking about hanging up your jersey? She's a good look for you, are you going to wife her? She's not better than the last one. Do you think she will make you a better person? I don’t like her, but I will be the best man.

That’s the “PG, I got a blog version.” But trust me, the conversations can be crazy if you’re not used to it and the point of views can sometimes come from left field. It behooves a woman to know who her man or prospect for a man is having this dialogue with. You need to know whether this guy is a potential ally or enemy. You need to strategically keep him close if you want to understand some of your man’s movements. No one tells one person everything, so don’t be that arrogant to think that you are the one that knows everything. But knowing about the talks and more importantly the characters talking, you are that much closer.

It's a Dirty Job, but Someone Has To Do It

Single sucks! I know it, you know it, and we all know it. For all you New Years Resolution Stans, lets not go into a new year lying. Why are we kidding ourselves, it’s the truth. Say it with me, “Single Sucks!” Before we jump to conclusions, don’t take this as a plea, a complaint, nor an offer. Because I know how to make the best out of a bad situation, no matter what else I write in this post, under no circumstance should you think that I am not HAPPILY single. But since this is my blog, a place where everyone can be honest, I would be lying if I didn’t make the bold statement that although people enjoy being single, EVERYONE (ladies, that includes men) wants to be in a relationship. Some don’t care if it’s a bad relationship, others prefer good relationships. The point is, when the relationship produces desired results, it’s the best thing since the re-release of spandex. The only group of people I would exclude from this group would me those men and women that are in the rebound stage. Those people that are recently removed from an exhausting situation are still a little punch drunk so they need time to recover. Depending on how long they were in their past relationship, they may want to enjoy being single for a while. I guarantee though, once they’ve recovered from their past phase of obligations, they are ready to jump into a new set of rules. Funny how that works right? As much as people proclaim they love their freedom, everyone is ready to relinquish those rights as soon as something good comes along.

Naturally the question a naysayer would ask is “why are so many people single if no one really wants to be single?” Well there are a million ways to answer this question. First, I would like to say that people are lying to themselves. Yes, I’m calling some of you liars. We can agree to disagree. Look at it this way, if everyone had to make a decision where they could only be one thing, single or in a relationship for the rest of their life, what would people choose. Think before you answer. Anyone that has experienced a great relationship knows the benefits of a relationship far outweigh those of being single. How many times have we seen a male or female friend break-up with their mate and either go back to them or continue to engage in relationship activities? They do this because they know that being single is brutal. Guys aren’t up to date on the new game. Those cat daddy lines just aren’t working anymore. Women turn down the first 30 qualified men that approach them. She comes off of as the angry woman in the crew. Single sucks! People that are on the rebound are the best people to validate my bold statement. They know where they just left and are hesitant to accept the single life.

Imagine two sets of people that are out and annoyingly enjoying themselves, one is a couple and one consists of two single people. We all have seen these people before. I guarantee that the happy couple will NEVER look at the happy single people and say I wish I were them. But you better believe that at least one if not both off the single people see the couple and fantasize about being in their situation.

Although men are single and appear reluctant to “G-Dep” themselves, deep down they really want to be in a relationship. Women appear more ready because they think about it more. Men don’t think about it as much. When men decide that they want a girlfriend, you better believe their antennas are up and they are simply waiting for a qualified candidate. You don’t have to be Cornel West smart to know that a relationship offers more than being single. Single provides flexibility, minimum responsibility, and possibility of new sex daily (playa playa singles only). But none of those are necessarily great things, excluding new sex daily, just kidding. None of those make a man great. Being single is futile, and most men know that, at least the men that women should be trying to date. Being in a relationship provides definition, organization, unlimited support, unbiased friendship, and guaranteed sex daily (at least 60% of the time).

The key is finding the guy that is ready. A woman that wants a relationship will have a much more difficult time finding a man if the man is not ready. But of course there is an exception to that. If a woman is “that chick”, the man will know, and he will wake up. So ladies if you’ve been “talking” to this guy for somewhat a long time and it has yet to go anywhere, question whether or not you are “that chick”. There’s a good chance that he may not be “that dude.”