Share and Share Alike

‘Friends are off-limits’. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count how many times I’ve heard this expression while eavesdropping on a group of females. Pretty sure I chuckled every time. Sometimes under my breath, sometimes out loud. I’m humored for two reasons: 1. I don’t believe that everyone in this group of 3-6 females is adhering to that rule. 2. Why should they have to? By now, you guys know my stance. All is fair is lust and war. Although some things may not be right, they are fair.

The reality is friends are definitely in-limits. Although we may not see it with the naked eye, it’s happening. Whether it’s in the hood, on a college campus, or in the big corporate office, no class of people are immune. Of course, there is an exception to the rule. For guys, the unwritten rule is you can not have relations with your close friend’s ex-girlfriend.

Like most unwritten rules, a potential culprit will find some way to make this ambiguous. How close should the friend be? How long should they have been a couple before they’re validated? What if the guy has a million ex-girlfriends, are all of them removed from the menu? What if he didn’t love her? Is it ok if the female approached the ex’s friend? As much as I would love to say, “do what you would have someone do to you”, I cannot, because a lot of guys will get in trouble with this thought process. Some guys are just scumbags and they follow no code of ethics. If we’re respecting rules, the best way to approach the situation is “Know Your Personnel”. In other words, we know who our friends are and we know their behavior. Some are very sensitive and same couldn’t care less. Some internalize their feelings, some punch holes in walls. In summary, act like your ass is transporting anthrax, BE CAREFUL. Those that choose to ignore the rule are usually the one’s that are creeping. You know who you are. There are probably a few others that know who you are as well. No, you don’t have to look over your shoulder at this very moment, but don’t think you’re the only one up at 3am going to the corner store. We see you, ooops, I mean the other people creeping see you.

For the players who are non-applicable to the unwritten rule, play ball. The loopholes have allowed you to at least argue or act stupid when your friend approaches you. You can either say you didn’t know, or you can read the following and present a good argument.

First of all, people disapprove of it because they have entitlement and ego issues. They think that everything belongs to them. Listen lady, just because you went on 3 dates with him, you petted his dog and he met your step mother, it doesn't mean he can't date any of your 600 Facebook friends. It’s in the past, you should be moving forward and focusing on the new love of your life, whether its real or in your dreams.

Constant events remind us that this is a small world. The same types of people (class, race, career, social life, etc) usually hang in the same circles. We are almost guaranteed to meet someone who we are attracted to that was previously attracted to an associate of ours. Contrary to popular belief, there may not always be other fish in the sea. Fellas you might meet this bad chick and ladies you might meet this fine brother from the bank who really gets you and is actually as attracted to you as you are to them, but you have this restriction. This restriction you agreed to only because the situation hadn’t happened to you. It sounded like a good idea at the time. You felt that this rule was good for your click; it would ensure you guys would be bffs forever and a day. Bullchit!! Be cool if you want to, you will lose. True, most likely this will only be another fling. Something that is short-lived. Maybe it will not be though. Think of the potential this has to erase your current slump. The last ten you’ve met have been duds. Give in to temptation. If necessary, creep if you have to until it gets serious. Then show up together at game night. POW!

Creep. Yes, I suggested it. But it’s only for those who are too coward to admit that they are enjoying the company of a friend’s ex-boo (ugh, that word again). I have witnessed a few situations where a girl I used to talk to ends up creeping with a dude I was cool with. Not yet has it bothered me. In fact, it’s actually entertainment. Thanks guys. And yes, you can come out now.

One last thing, we can still be cool, but I have to charge consulting fees if you need advice on how to handle each other.

Is this Rocket Science?

The weekend is here and some of you have the fortune of having someone that likes you enough to want to spend a few hours in your presence. Crazy right? Round of applause for yourself because others will be out this weekend trying to find someone they like or tricking someone to like them. We’ll discuss you guys later. So for the ladies and gents that are in that stage of their relationship where you are thinking far too much about the potential of your new boo-boo (whoever invented that word by the way should be tied up and Patrick Ewing’s used sock from the 1994 playoffs should be lodged into their mouth for 3 days), I’m going to relieve you of a minor stress. Who pays for dinner? If you’re a mind reader or better yet, an Es Wild blog reader (“Ice-T Killed Chivalry”), you probably can figure out my position.

Call me crazy, but I think it’s funny that so many times people are not on the same page. Now, I'm only talking about when the man and woman first start going out/ dating. Whatever arrangement comes after things are more serious doesn't concern me.

In the beginning, either the man is pursuing the woman or the woman is pursuing the man. Hunter and hunted. Please pay attention because this may go over some peoples’ heads....the hunter pays! Simple right?...I agree, so why people make a big deal about this I don't know. The same way dinosaurs are extinct, things change. Yes ladies, you want a guy, its ok to take him out. Don't ask him out on a date, expect him to pay and then get mad when he says he doesn't have any money. He has money, he just didn't plan on paying for you to pursue him. And men, unless you're a pimp or super player, the woman does not have to pay if you're courting her. Lastly, in the case of mutual interest, think of a pre-nup; alternate turns or go dutch (where did that word come from by the way?) So until the couple reaches the point where there is a level playing field, this is the law, abide by it to avoid confusion.

Pick Your Poison

• Any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits.
• She doesn't even have her own pot to piss in but she is good at living off other guys’ money.
• When a woman who is attractive lies to gain wealth without proper work and showing very little or no affection towards the usually unattractive rich man.
• Are no better than a common gutterslut whore.
• A woman who manipulates men to benefit from their labor, skills, or money without compensation. Often highly narcissistic exhibiting little compassion and thankfulness
• A Hooker, Just smarter
• A girl who is looking for a husband that will allow her not to have to work and thus shop for the rest of her life.
• About 96% of the female population. They will lie, cheat, steal, fuck, blow, and sometimes even kill to get you for all your shit. She wants everything, even your soul. Nothing is safe within the presence of a good one. The whore will use you up and suck you dry and move on to the next unsuspecting victim. This woman is very dangerous; remember the words "Prenuptial Agreement" to ward off this slut bag cum dumpster.

I have to give credit to Urbandictionary.com for the very entertaining definitions. Can anyone guess what is being defined? No, there is not a prize available for those who guessed right. But, it is an admission that this is how most of us feel about gold diggers.

Like most guys, I’ve heard these words and subconsciously accepted them without a challenge. This led to me despising gold diggers for most of my life.

With all that said, I’m about to do something that not many men will do. I’m going to defend gold diggers. I am not going to dissect all of the definitions listed above. In fact, I don’t even expect to convince people to agree with me. I just want the gold diggers and gold diggers in training out there to know that I am sympathetic, I am aware of what it feels like to be misunderstood. (Look out for Hug-A-GoldDigger-Day. As a matter of fact, if you are close to a GoldDigger, give her a hug now!)

Before we start judging women that are attracted to a guy for his money, I think we should be careful. She who lives in a glass house should sit her ass down before she breaks something. Ponder this for a moment……

A woman likes a guy because he is smart, funny, witty, passionate, motivated, down-to-earth, family oriented, good with his hands, athletic, or capable of laying the pipe….you name it. For every attribute a guy has, there’s a woman that’s attracted to it. Although some people are born with certain gifts, for the most part, there’s a guy that either worked to have an attribute or is working to maintain it. Of course this work is for personal growth, but don’t get it twisted, most of the things a guy does to better himself, he’s doing it to get the woman he wants.

This brings us to money. It’s an attribute. It’s one of those stats. It’s flashed and flaunted to serve a purpose just like any other attribute. When a guy is pursuing a woman, if he’s short on funds, he has to convince the woman that he has some other qualities that she may like. We know that some women cannot stand a dumb or corny dude. So what do we do, we tell a joke, or brag about our career goals. Do we call a woman shallow because she only wants to date a guy who was the valedictorian or the guy she can take home to mommy and daddy? These guys are being used the same way the cat with money is being used. Let the guy lose the thing (money, wits, physique, interest, etc) that girl likes. Unless there is enough time invested where the woman can learn to appreciate some of his unexpected qualities, she’s leaving.

The defense rests. GoldDiggers, hold your head, I got you! (As long as you don't ask me for any money)