Keep Your New Year's Resolutions To Yourself

Here we are in the last week of the year. Everyone is scrambling trying to make sure they end 2010 and start 2011 right. People are excited because they almost feel like its out with the old and in with the new. As usual, the discussions these days center around, “What are your New Year’s resolutions?” And people are no where near short of creativity with the things they come up with. Especially when their resolutions are relationship related. Women are voicing their determination to have a boyfriend. And men are vowing to finally commit to a girlfriend. Maybe not.

Personally, I don’t make any New Year’s resolutions. So although I am single, I doubt that I will be making any New Year’s relationship resolutions. I’m not knocking anyone who does, but I believe that making New Year’s resolutions are another way we lie to ourselves. Around September people start saying to themselves, “I can’t wait till next year,” or “it’s going to be different next year.” So what happens, they wait three months to put this unjust pressure on themselves and rarely fulfill these requirements they set. By September of the next year, the same quotes are repeated.

With all that being said, please forgive me when I laugh at the question “will one of my resolutions be to have a girlfriend?” Whoever makes a New Year’s resolution to be in a relationship, please put your head down and walk out of the room. What type of foolishness is that? Anyone that makes a resolution to either have a girlfriend or boyfriend is clearly missing the point. They are already making the task of finding someone that much more difficult. I know about the whole ‘positive visualization’ mumbo jumbo (which I actually believe works) where you have to put it out there in the universe for it to happen. Cool, but be careful, because that may not be the only thing that is being put out in the universe. If you’ve read anything I wrote this year, you know how I feel about rules and schedules. Unless you’re at work, they only limit and prohibit. There is no timetable on when like, lust or love when develop. So for the woman that implies that she wants to be in a relationship by a certain date, on our date, I’m the man that will be going to the bathroom and not coming back. If I were courting this person, why wouldn’t I second guess whether this person is really being true and not simply introducing me to an image that they think I want to see for the purpose of my commitment? AT&T and I had beef the other day because they had me sign a contract and didn’t fully explain our agreement. When I threatened to leave their ass, that’s when they all of a sudden want to settle disputes. We now have an amicable relationship. I don’t want to go through this with a woman that I thought I liked.

It is your prerogative if you want to make your New Year’s resolution to be in a relationship by 2012. All I recommend is that you let things happen naturally. As the saying goes, “with great power comes great responsibility.” Give your potential mate the opportunity to make an educated decision on whether they want to help you with your resolution. There’s a chance it may not happen till 2013, but at least you know there is a good chance you won’t have to make that resolution again. You can now focus on working out more consistently or going to church more or having an improved relationship with your incarcerated brother; whatever you’ve decided to choose as your resolutions.

Setting goals for the upcoming year is trendy and somewhat important but be careful not to create limits for yourself. I think it’s much more important to encapsulate what you’ve experienced the previous year. On New Year’s Eve I usually have a moment of silence with myself where I reflect. During this time of reflection, there are numerous things I focus on. What went right? What went wrong? What were the pleasant surprises? Was there progression from the prior year? Did you have better friendships? Were your relationships improved? What did you learn from those relationships? Use all of this information to naturally become a better person. Great things happen to great people.

I want to thank everyone who has ever logged on, repeated andshewonderswhy during sex, posted a comment, suggested a post topic, or shared the site with a friend. I know we have fun, but believe it or not, the blog works; I have text messages, emails and taped telephone conversations (just kidding) that prove it. People are making better relationship decisions. Everyone who has participated is responsible. For that reason, I have no choice but to continue. You have truly made my 2010 a great year. I hope that I helped make yours great. There are big things happening in 2011. Please, please stay tuned. Follow me @EsWild21 on Twitter and send me (Es Wild) a friend request on Facebook.