Tired of Belts

Ok, so it’s the last weekend to shop for Christmas/ Kwanzaa gifts, I get it. You don't know what to get your man. You need advice, maybe I can help. He’s tired of wallets, ties, and gift certificates. Your excuse is either he has everything or he wants nothing. This is why the man is usually the one who suffers during this gift giving escapade. Men are men, so we may not complain or make a big deal about the garbage gift we receive (not all are garbage, said that for affect). We take the gift and throw it with the rest of the “gifts we will never use.” Some women take advantage of the fact that we don't complain. I interpret it as some women are simply lazy. Not lazy to the extent that they will not spend an entire day out on the town shopping, but lazy in that they are not willing to push themselves to come up with a unique, thoughtful gift. Ladies, we appreciate the hours you put in, but as the saying goes, “Work smart, not hard.”

A week ago, I observed Secret Santa gift exchanging. The gifts that the women gave each had them very excited. Lots of hugging, kissing and smiling. The men, well they smiled and were just happy to receive their cologne, scarves and pocket knives. Since my secret Santa ran up on me earlier that week and damn near snatched the tag out my shirt to see my size, I already knew I was getting a shirt. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. But there is usually not much intrigue involved. If you know me, you know I'm pretty low maintenance. I don't ask for much. But if you do get a gift, I like practical, creative gifts. I’m pretty sure most men feel the same way.

One of the best gifts I ever received was from my ex-girlfriend. The gift served so many purposes. First, it was not a Christmas gift. It was a “just-because” gift. Those types usually mean more than any other type of gift. I know it’s the holidays so just-because gifts are not applicable at this moment. But women can still think of a way to make it more special than just a holiday gift. What my ex gave me was a two-item gift, but they were presented at the same time. Delivered in a nice, little gift bag, it was not overtly feminine, but something I could walk in the street with if I needed to transport it. Another key thing about the gift is that the relationship was still fresh. She hadn't known me a long time. So I was surprised, very risky. I hate surprises, unless they are great ones. The first part of the gift was a framed picture of her. From our conversations and interactions, she knew how I loved beauty (which she represented) and she knew how much I liked pictures. I don't remember if I asked for the picture, but I didn't expect it. This was pre-Black Planet and picture phone days (damn I just aged myself), so having pictures readily available was not the case (these kids are spoiled today). The second part of the gift is what sealed the deal. Like most couples we had our "favorite" conversations. You know those favorite conversations. "Aye girl, what's your favorite color...blue? Stop playing, that's mine too, I knew it! We're compatible." So during these talks she found out my favorite slow song was "Two Occasions" by Babyface and the Deele. I’m sure you can guess what else was in the bag. You guessed correctly, she bought me the Deele “Eyes of a Stranger” cd that featured this song. I totally forgot that we had the conversation. Of course I gave her all I had in the bedroom that night (lol, that means I was happy).

The moral of the story is that similar to women, the simple things matter to us men as well. We like a lot of money to be spent on us, but I recommend women buy gifts that will resonate over a long period of time. If you guys ever split, he will always remember that you were thoughtful. You will raise his standards. When it comes to gift giving, women after you will forever be judged on their creativity. It takes no effort to buy an expensive watch. A trip to the Bahamas can easily be purchased. Unless the woman gives a thousand pints of blood to earn the money, those gifts only mean what the guy probably already knows, that she has money. Depending on when you read this post, you have nine days left, more than enough time to be imaginative. If your gift is impressive, maybe you’ll get a nice gift back, next year.

Fellas, if you received a great gift in the past, tell the world your story in the comment section. Ladies, if you believe you have given great gifts in the past, save a relationship, please share. Happy Holidays and travel safely.