"Almost Perfect"

Man walks pass Starbucks. Inside, Woman is sitting, sipping café latte moca choco frappathingamajig. Man notices Woman. Man doubles back to see if what he saw is really what he saw. Woman peeks up from her novel for a second and notices Man staring at her. Stare is floating on that thin line of endearing and stalkerish. Woman smiles and puts her head back in book. Man notices smile, ignores the fact that he’s already running late to $5 patron margarita Mondays and decides he wants an Earl grey green refresh tea with whip cream. Man gets tea and aimlessly wanders to seat next to Woman. ‘What a coincidence’ thinks Woman. Man introduces himself and Man and Woman begin to converse. Man is very confident because he knows his stats make him one of the best players in the game. All-Star every year. Woman has smile on face because she knows he’s a 1st team player. Every team wants him. Woman gives her stats, not too shabby. 10 time All-Star herself. Master’s degree, down-to-earth, single, good jobby job, nice car (at least that’s what the BMW keys say), silly, good sense of humor, witty and buy some chit you don’t drink beautiful. The connection is obvious. Even brother at next table that was scared to say something feels the magic. Man thinks this is his Neo. This is the 1. Man is not mad that it’s after 8 o’clock and he will now have to pay $12 for his patron magaritas. He may not even go to the lounge. In the middle of the conversation, Woman’s phone begins to ring. Man catches a glimpse of ‘Home’ on the I-phone. Woman answers “Hey baby, how are you?” Man is perplexed. WTF is this, he thinks. Woman starts to clean up and pack her bags. “I’ll be there soon baby”, Woman says before she hangs up the phone. Woman explains to Man that her son is sick and she has to rush home to take care of him. “A son?? You didn’t tell me you had a kid.” Man says with a slight attitude. “Well I do” says Woman, “Take my number and call me later”. Woman goes home. Man goes to lounge with a bittersweet feeling.

The sad truth is that no matter how great a woman is, the news that she is a mother initially sets her back somewhat in the eyes of most men. And what happens if she’s not a ‘great’ woman? Or has multiple kids? Then a guy starts to wonder is she worth it. Is she worth the baby-father drama, the limited access due to child obligations, and potential role of stepfather and everything that comes with it? Let’s not forget the biggest question, is she worth being chosen over an equally great woman who does not have a child?

I don’t claim to know the stats, but as a betting man, I’m putting my money on the woman without the crumb snatcher(s). Pretty sure the single mother loses most of the time. The child may be perfect, the baby-father drama may be non-existent, and the support group is so reliable that access will never be denied. Some men don’t care; they are not trying to hear it, especially if they don’t have any kids themselves. They want their kid to be the first one their wife gives birth to. Or even worse, the woman does not want any more kids.

The man faces a ‘Fight versus flight’ scenario which means the single mother has to work twice as hard to get the man she wants. If she does not, the man is flying. For the aforementioned reasons, most men don’t want to fight. Then there are some men that will deal with the woman because of the nice accolades, but also because of the aforementioned reasons, they won’t get to that point where they want to get too serious. They rather keep their options open.

Competition is everywhere in the game of love. No one’s perfect. In my eyes, a single mother has as much chance as getting the guy she wants as any single woman. At the end of the day, the single woman without the child is single right?? Something must be wrong with her right?? Lol.