I’m sorry but that’s the best title I could come up with. “Superhead to Claire” sounded cool, but it didn’t move me. My original title was ‘From Hoes to Housewives.’ My brother told me that was a little too vulgar, so I decided to fall back. But I refuse to fall back on the topic. By now, I hope you’ve guessed the subject matter. And if you know like I know, it’s a very dynamic subject. Its so many directions I can go with this.
First and foremost, although I know I’m going to be judged, I want everyone to know that I am not Captain Save-A-Hoe. But with that said, don’t whores need love too? Most will say they don’t. Hussies have been dividing the female race for ions. And for that reason, there are “good” women out there that believe they don’t deserve love. The more prestigious class of women despises these women because they give good women bad names. These floozies make it difficult for good women to dress sexy or provocative without being misjudged. Wives have to fight everyday to prove their love to their husbands because of these courtesans. There are men out there that believe harlots should not get anything but hard $*@& and bubble gum. Jezebels have been around causing rifts since BC. Some would say they need to be purged like my college courses when Howard University realized the scholarship didn’t come through. Unfortunately, I don’t think they are going anywhere, so hopefully the whore haters have learned to live amongst them.
What’s sad is that there is a double standard. Men will never get such a bad rap. As adolescents, men and women were raised differently when it came to matters of sex. If you’re a boy, you’re basically pressured to have sex as soon as possible. Teenage boys are constantly taunted by male adults for the purpose of joining the “getting your nuts out of the sand” brotherhood. It may not be blatant, but it’s definitely insinuated to some extent. If a boy hasn’t had sex by the time most of his friends have, the thoughts are “he either doesn’t like girls”, “he has no game”, or “he’s just wack.” No father or uncle is accepting of either of those options. Boys even receive congratulatory remarks by women if they can get a lot of girls or have a lot of girls that are attracted to them.
For girls, the situation is almost the complete opposite. Some females aren’t allowed to have a date before college. So sex is definitely out of the question. And don’t let it be known to the family that a girl has had sex, its news like a governor getting caught with a prostitute. A girl’s promiscuous ways will NEVER be excused. “How did this happen?” “This cannot happen again.” I’ve heard of mothers learning that their daughter had sex and vowed with the daughter not to ever tell the father. Talk about secrets.
Promiscuous behavior by women was unacceptable while they were teens, but how is it for them as adults? Well they still are frowned upon as stated earlier, but since they obviously don’t have a hard time getting a man to have sex with them, they must be doing fairly well. Is it difficult for them to have a committed relationship with men? One would think so, but I don’t. Even if they are honest about their background, if presented the right way, I still believe they can bag a great man. Look at the movie “Pretty Girl,” I’m sure this storyline is typical. Google Darius McCrary and I bet Superhead comes up. For those of you that don’t know, Darius aka Eddie Winslow married Karrine Steffans. Talented she is, but her track record is far from impressive. I don’t know if young Winslow is a great guy, but I would bet my left hand that he knows of Superhead. Knowing this, he still allowed himself to fall under her spell. I would believe there are more Eddie Winslows and more Superheads roaming the dating world.
Unfortunately, all bizzas won’t have the same luck as Best Selling Author Karrine Steffans (can’t believe ya’ll bought her book). I saw some footage (so what, I downloaded it for free), and I’m sorry, but all whores can’t be that talented. Back in the day, if someone had a bad reputation, they would simply relocate. The internet has “deaded” that option. A reputation will follow a person as if they were on twitter. Personally, I don’t think they should run from their history. Someone’s past does not necessarily define their future. Although a whore’s rap sheet may be a little nasty, it does not determine her character. Like I previously stated, I am not Captain Save-A-Hoe, but they do exist. There is someone for everyone. If a whore is blessed enough to find herself a good man, she should consider that as her second chance. Even after being disappointed by Ginger in the movie “Casino,” I’m still cheering for you guys. But please don’t let me down like Lebron did Cleveland. Take your talents to a good guy, but remember, the whoring has to stop!
By the way, there is no nice way to say whore, harlot, floozy, hussy, hoe, bizza, or courtesan. Trust me, I tried.
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Thumbs up! Great Post!
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough subject to tackle, only because there are so many variables to address when discussing the W.A.H (War Against Hoes).
Women and men condemn hoes out of insecurity. Women who are all "hoe this" and "hoe that" are envious that they can't engage in sex as liberally as "hoes" do. I cant tell you how many temptations women deny for the sake of their "reputation". We cant even date freely (no sex involved) without someone somewhere questioning your virtues.
Secondly, we women criticize "hoes" because deep down inside we fear they have something we dont and we're jealous and upset (see: hating). Lets keep it real with ourselves. I've decided not to be a hater.
But truth is, every person has their own boundaries and standards when it comes to sex. (Who really knows the EXACT definition of a hoe anyway?) What happens sexually between two consenting single adults is not a reflection of their character or whether theyre trustworthy enough to engage in a committed relationship.
Es/Mighty D.R./Company, while were on the subject... What is your complete and official definition of a hoe? If men despise hoes so much, why do they obsess over them? Why do they jeopardize their relationships for them? Why do hoes get treated well and gfs/wives get left at home? Why do hoes get all the wild crazy sex? If it's better to be chaste, why arent us women seeing the benefits of it? Either way, hoes get sh** on and prudes do too.
Lol Sam. WAH. Yeah they are fighting a helluva battle. Insecurity is definitely the reason for the hate. To answer your questions, the hoe is the woman that has irresponsible excessive sex with multiple partners. Its not what she does during sex, but the fact that she's perceived as having too much with many ppl. I dont think men despise them or obsess over them. But the allure of the sex is the motivation. Also, the man may not be getting "turned out" sexually, or he wants to accept the challenge of turning a hoe out. Then men that do jeopardize their relationships are experiencing temporary insanity that unfortunately can last a lifetime. lol. Also the men that follow G-code are not treating them well. And if these same men that follow G-code are dealing with them, they are letting it be known that this is wifey over there and she gets the best. (I dont endorse this behavior but I know the game if you're new to the blog). The wild crazy sex I can't answer that question Sam. And who says its better to chaste, it depends on the guy. Its better to be responsible and that is most important to me.
ReplyDeleteReputations are reputations, rumors come and go, as long as you (not you) are respecting yourself, LIVE YOUR LIFE! Those that matter dont mind, and those that mind dont matter. Hoes get your man. *applause*
Maybe I'm missing something here and there's a new class of hoes I don't know about...
ReplyDeleteES, I'm surprised you didn't address the reasons why a woman becomes a hoe. It sounds like you feel it's just about the sex and the reputation, but for most overly promiscuous women it's not actually about sex. There's usually something negative that insinuates this behavior, ie. low self-esteem, sexual abuse, trust issues, etc. To me, those are what should be considered when deciding to date a hoe, not her reputation and what others think about you dating her. Number of sex partners should be considered also for health reasons but keep in mind that depending on how messed up this chick is, your sanity may be at risk too.
And I strongly disagree with the concept of non-hoes "hating" on hoes. I just don't see how a woman who paces her number of partners can envy someone who doesn't. Number of partners can influence your skill but they're not directly related. I think the tension between the non-hoe and the hoe is simply, "Hoe, you stole my man!" Ladies talk about hoes cause they have no respect for a committed relationship.
Hoes are not bad people, they just can't be trusted. I really am concerned for any woman who is jealous of a hoe, but like I said, maybe there's a new class of hoes I don't know about.
Ok....well what is undefined for me is what is considered a hoe? a female that has sex with multiple people? maybe her and her man like that....does that make her a hoe or someone who is secure with her sexuality and doesnt have a problem acting on it.
ReplyDeleteSam i dont think it really has much to do with the previous experiences because different people react different one woman may become promiscious and the other a nun and they might be sisters who endured the same abuse. You never know
Then LadyT says a hoe is someone who doesnt respect a relationship....what if HE wasnt the one respecting the relationship and she said if HE dont respect it then y should i? that chick is not the HOE YOUR MAN IS.
IDK i am not with this idea of hoes not being deserving of love, if that was the case then half the MEN i know should be kicked to the proverbial curb...lol
I dont think that it is a matter of any war be raged on hoes, or even someone being a hoe. it is all about are you secure with who you are and who you choose to share your self with. and if a man comes along and meets a woman who he wants to tone down her sexuality and SHE IS WILLING then gre4at dont hold her past against her jjust as if a man decided to turn in his playa card for a woman she shouldnt hold his past against him.
Hmm? where do I begin? Oh I know, hi baby! xoxo. Nice post and I will attempt to answer you questions, but first....
ReplyDeleteMen "save h*es" all the time. Women simply do not know the power of the PU, but unfortunately (fortunate for us) they will never realize this and unite. If so, there will never be a question of "h*e this h*e that, this h*e took my man, blah blah blah. I know of a young man who married a "h*e." Like my esteemed colleague stated a h*e is, "the woman that has irresponsible excessive sex with multiple partners." This chic banged the entire neighborhood damn near. All you needed was a bag of weed and some drinks. Trains, tag teams, you name it she did it. BUT, she is now married, ring and all. Obviously her husband was not strong enough to fight the powerful PU. I for one, will not and my conscious will not allow me to wife a h*e.
Now I am getting off topic for a minute, but a good friend of mines and myself had a debate on whether or not Kim Kardashian is a h*e. He said yes, I emphatically disagreed. She made a private sex tape with her man of FIVE YEARS and it was leaked. She went on to date other high profile cats, Reggie Bush, Miles Austin and banged Kanyeezy. Have you heard stories about her "getting around?" I haven't. All this poor girl wants is a man. Period. And if she has sex with whoever she dates, its her prerogative. Is she a h*e? I say no.
Now to my baby's questions:
Like the homie said, a hoe is the PERSON (read: man or woman) that has irresponsible excessive sex with multiple partners. Excessive sex to me doesn't necessarily make you a h*e but, irresponsible sex definitely puts you in that conversation. It is also nasty and dangerous.
Men actually don't despise h*es. We love them. They are like death and taxes, the only guarantees in life. When you're staggering home at 5am and you see "Sheila" and y'all lock eyes, you can pretty much bet your bottom dollar, you will be getting put to sleep with a nice bj courtesy of the "neighborhood h*e." We, (for the most part) won't wife/save a h*e. Despise them maybe for other traits or past transgressions, but if she is a "cool h*e", yes they exist, we have nothing but love for her.
Only a fool would jeopardize their relationship for a h*e. If a man is going to cheat with a h*e, she definitely knows she is on the bottom of the food chain and when I see you its strictly biz. Cheating with a h*e is forbidden. Don't get me wrong though, it definitely happens.
I think you are confusing h*es for side pieces. H*es don't get treated nice, but they do get the wild sex because we don't really care or respect them and we can do all the wild nasty sh*t we wouldn't dare think about doing to our precious wifey. Being chaste and being a freak is up to the persons discretion. Some women think being chaste will make the man think they are wholesome and respect her more. But, you hear men say it all the time, "I want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed."
The side piece is for another blog ;)
@Anonymous: I agree on alot of your points. I used to be a part of the hoe-hating team, but then i realized just what I was mad at them for... and if a man put his relationship on the line with me, for someone who was nothing but extra, its his problem. She didnt steal him, he willingly engaged. Clearly, the lure of this woman who was "fine" with the fact that he was involved in a serious relationship already, was stronger than whatever we had. It doesnt make me hate on her, it just makes me try to find someone better for me and work on myself as a person. Hoes dont bother me. Im not concerned with whatever their doing.
ReplyDelete@Lady T: I think the reasons you discussed are the primary reasons someone turns into a hoe.
By the envy thing, I think women tend to hate other women they see as hoes because they are threatened by them. Not envious of their actions speciffically, i.e. number of partners, but envious that they've put forth effort into pacing their partners and at times it seems like men will be men anyway. Its a hard pill to swallow, so they become bitter.
Es still hasnt really answered. lol. Someone please explain to me what a hoe is exactly. The problem with the definitions that were given is that they contain terms that are relative, which is exactly my point. How many is too many? We'd all have different answers. Who is anyone to define those terms? What if a woman generally is chaste, but goes on vacay and lets loose? Is she only an occasional hoe? Haha! Or my fav, the "I sleep with whoever I want but I dont give all of them head" chick? LMAO! Who wrote the Hoe handbook and where exactly is it?
Live and let live. And wrap it up. Judging anyone else gets me nowhere. I know hoes who have rings on their fingers and happy lives RIGHT NOW. LOL.
Mighty D.R!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for clearing up some of my questions:-) We were writing at the same time. So, you explained how one of your friends married a hoe. Are they happy? Did they move to another neighborhood? LMAO!
Men almost exclusively cheat with hoes. Sorry D.R. I think a woman who knowingly is sneaking around with a man who has a gf/wife, has no morals or self-esteem and is thirsty for D. #womanlaw
Maybe u can elaborate on some of the questions on my last comment:-) But also, on one hand you wouldnt do all the wild stuff to your prospective wifey, but then again men want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed? Lol. Which is it? And maybe wifey likes to get crazy too! Lol. But its not a with every Tom, Dick, and Harry type deal.
@Anonymous - I was just addressing the hoe side of things in my comment but you're absolutely right. The man has no respect for the relationship either. That makes both of them guilty. The hoe is not off the hook.
ReplyDeleteAnd to clarify, I didn't say hoes don't deserve love. My point is that sex should not be the reason for why a man decides to love a hoe. I'm with Samantha, it doesn't bother me one way or another. I just think he needs to take a look at the causes of it and then decide if it's still what he wants to do. Her issues are guaranteed to come out in marriage. Is he going to drop her once he realizes that although the sex is great, he can't handle the whole package?
And again, I'm not passing judgment on the hoes. I just think there's a story behind all of them, which may or may not have been in their control.
Wait a minute now, just because a woman is a hoe, it doesn't suggest low self esteem, sexual abuse, trust issues etc. And just because a woman is not a hoe, it does not suggest that the above does not apply to her. A lot of times none of this information is available up front. As you get to know this person some of the facts show themselves. If a guy wants to date a hoe, he should do it because he likes her and she makes him happy. A hoe is not the worse person in the world.
ReplyDeleteI dont think all non hoes hate on hoes. But there is some jealousy between some women that are not hoes. Especially when a hoe can do what she wants when she wants and still get what the non hoe gets who is trying to pace her sex number. All hoes dont still men and all men stolen are not by hoes.
Since the definition is a little ambiguous, a hoe is not the woman that had sex with 8 guys, its the woman that had sex with 8 guys at once. Or the woman that has sex for sport. Or the woman that banged the whole 2nd floor in the dorm, the entire office, or everyone on Manhattan ave from 112th street to 121st street. So its not necessarily the act of sex, but how and when the act is acted out.
And guys dont necessarily seek out the hoe because she's a hoe, its because of the stories theyve heard about the hoe. Theyve heard about the tricks she does, the dirty talk or how long she can hold her breath, lol basically she's guaranteeing a great experience with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. A guy doesn't have to worry about a hoe falling in love with him. It happens, but its rare for a true hoe.
And I want a freak in the bed. I want to do more with my wife than with anyone.
Another aspect of being a hoe is the perception factor. Some women flirt alot and they are perceived to be a hoe. Its a lose lose situation. Hoe rolls off the tongue so easily. People use it at the first sign of anything threatening.
I have no problem with hoes, my only issue is when others are involved. True you have a right to do whatever you want to do, but if you have a child, parent, husband, friend, the hoe should consider their reputation. I wasn't around for the Vanessa Del rio exiling from her family, but obviously the Debbie Allen and Phylicia Rashad family wasnt having it. (Wow, I can only imagine the what guys were doing trying to get in this family).
Man... last night I typed a long and rather bitter response... the internet saved me from myself. Today I’m a little bit calmer. So let's see what stuck...
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, darn the pleasantries... I’m judging a h*e! and I DO think (or based on all the h*e’s I know) YES, they are h*es b/c they have low self esteem, were abused, or have trust issues. A H*e is NOT to be trusted, she won’t meet my man, be invited to my house (especially if I live with my man) or hear too many stories about my relationship. I can spot a h*e a mile away, no matter HOW she tries to disguise it.
Now I don’t want to sound all angry but men are not excused from being a h*e themselves. If my man wants to sleep with a h*e I have NO tolerance for him b/c to me she’s just a few steps shy of a prostitute (if you think about it, what’s the difference other than at least a prostitute gets paid, and chances are men seek out the prostitute?).
I don’t agree that when men cheat, they all cheat with a h*e. It’s been my experiences that men cheat with women who have no clue they were the side piece or jump-off.
H*es do fall in love, that’s what they really want, that’s why when they find a guy who seems to have everything they want they go alllll out. Some accept, through their own insecurities, that they can’t have a man to themselves so they “get the best part of a man” and just be the woman on the side.
To ME a H*e is a woman who knows the man she is seeing is in a relationship and she doesn’t care and continues to engage in a relationship with the man. She may even go as far as lie when confronted by the main woman. OR A man who is in a relationship and still sleeping around with other women. For me a h*e is someone who’s intentionally disrupting the balance of a relationship. A relationship has to be involved. If you are just sleeping around all willy nilly then you’re just a “free spirit” (Which I don’t judge… lol)
As for the lady in the street and freak in the sheets…men say this but the only ones I’ve seen be able to practice it are the h*e turned wives! All the other men say “I don’t want to do that to my wife”. All the freaky play sounds great in theory but men clam up when it’s time b/c unlike the h*e you care what your lady thinks about you AND you have to face her the next day lol.