Does She Know What He Really Likes

I often hear women say that we men don't know what we want (As if women actually know what they want). In some cases true, but when it comes to the type of woman, we know exactly what we want.

When a relationship is going smoothly and suddenly becomes stagnant or flatlined for no apparent reason, sometimes a woman thinks the guy is confused. He said and even acted like he wanted to be with her. Although he is confusing the hell out of her and everyone else for that matter, confusion is not the correct adjective. He may be scared, sympathetic, or plain stupid, but he is not confused. Men, similar to women, have certain levels to which we will deal with the opposite sex. We will consider a woman for friendship, booty calls, a girlfriend, a wifey, a mistress, spades partner, actual wife, etc. All of this depends on where you fall in our list of qualifications. No matter what kind of relationship or plans we make, don’t believe us until you know what attracts us. Knowing what attracts us is the only way to truly verify if there is a chance. Lust or the opposite of lust may cloud our judgment at times. We do and say stupid things under the influence of both. The sad part is that we may actually believe we are telling the truth, but when the honeymoon is over, reality sets in. Delusional, not confused.

The things that attract us are not debatable. They are non-negotiable. In a lot of cases they are deal breakers. We know what these things are and we know what weight they carry. So the actual confusion comes in when the women do not know or understand what weight a certain attraction holds. It would help if a lot of guys were more clear and forthright when divulging this information. It could help a woman out tremendously if she chooses to listen. I say choose to listen because a lot of times, in the beginning a woman asks a man “what kinds of women do you like”. After hearing his list, the woman knows that she doesn't fit in his shopping cart, yet she's trying to make it to the register. She ignores him because she thinks after he gets to know her he will forget what he likes. WRONG! Although she may have great qualities, they aren’t the qualities that he prefers.

I will be the lab rat; and if you know me, you know I don't care if you judge me, I welcome it. If I somehow am taken off the market, she will possess a large portion of these qualities. After reading what attracts me, everyone (men and women) should speak to the person they are interested in, and find out what attracts them.

There are four categories that I use to classify a woman. They are personality, aesthetics, public impression, and philosophy/ morals.

Personality - funny, smart, inquisitive, sense of humor, down to earth, sassy, confident, common sense, ambitious, loyal, honest, adventurous, spontaneous, understanding, tough-minded, and thick skinned.

Aesthetics – Nia Long in Friday, Stacy Dash in everything, Sade in ‘Baby Father’ video (she put some weight on), Alicia Keys, Lauren London in Entourage (pre Lil Wayne), YaYa on ANTM (not in person though, she looked like she had a little weight on television), the first Trina poster (that may still be on the ceiling of my DC apt.), Sanaa Lathan. Any woman down with Prince. There’s plenty more, but I had to stop as some point.



Public Impression – I’m going to take it back to the 80’s with this expression. “She has to be dope!” In a room full of beautiful women, she has to be the one who stands out. Not because she’s beautiful, but because she’s dope.

Philosophy/ Morals – God first, family oriented, and free-willed.

Based on this list alone, I know a woman’s potential within the first 5 minutes of meeting her. It does not mean she is a bad person, but I know what works for me and what I’m looking for. It also does not mean there is not a spot for her. When an expansion team is filling out their roster, most players may not have all the tools, but they will serve as key role players around the franchise player. But also remember, one man’s trash or role player is another man’s treasure or franchise player.